Baby Joy was truly my ‘joy of life.’ After she was gone, I was aimless. Sure, I had “things”to do, to fill my day. But if I was not a mom, what was I?
I was learning, through saying good bye to Joy, that children are only given to us on loan. They all really belong to God, our Heavenly Father. We have them today, in this moment. As He has chosen. We must love them wisely each step of the way, day by day. For as many days we have with them.
Only five months later God’s Sovereign plan was placed in Tim’s and my arms once again – beautiful baby boy! Only this time, we were the the Mom and Dad by adoption, not the foster parents. This baby would bear our last name and we would parent him all the way through to his adult life.
“And I know, God. He is Yours. Just as Baby Joy was Yours, this one is Yours, also. I hold on to Your Hand, to hold on to his hand, for one day. For two days. One year. Ten years. To his adult life. To the end of his or my life. He’s Yours, Heavenly Father. And thank you so much for allowing Tim and me this awesome privilege.”
Not a day went by that I did not recognize this partnership with God.
To our wonder of wonders, after the adoption of our first treasured little boy, there came another. And after a few years, another. And…yes! ANOTHER! That equals four. Four boys! Each baby boy was a separate treasure. Adorable as could be. Loved at birth by their birthmoms. Lovingly placed in our arms with unsupassing, courageous love. Nothing can compare to the love displayed by each of the birthmoms of our adopted babies boys.
It is somewhat a picture of the Love of God, giving His Son for us.
And this I knew I would never forget. And I never have forgotton.
I suppose it was learned during those agonizing years of infertility. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. And while waiting, learning to surrender my ‘right’ to be a mom.
And what an adventure ‘mothering my children’ has been. And not over. Bumps. Bruises. Happy times. Hard times. Just as life is for all! Life has joy, and pain, for all of us. Whether we realize it or not.
Some days are more difficult than others. But God says He will never give us more than we can handle. Never is this so true as when parenting lives who have individual ideas. Not carbon copies of mine! So, how do I know what each child needs? God promises that He will always be by our side, to give wisdom for each unknown.
So why be anxious? ☺😊😯😐
It’s a daily walk. A daily adventure. A step at a time.
For each step, Tim and I continue to hold on to His hand while we hold onto each of our sons hands.
As adults, our ‘baby boys’ are enjoying all that goes with it: freedom, with responsibility. And we stand guard. We must give them the freedom to choose. Loving.Watching. Waiting.
Ever trusting In The One Who Promises To Never Leave My Side, Or Theirs.
I recall every single day, “They are Yours, Heavenly Father. As You lead Tim and me in loving them, we will love them. And we thank you for entrusting them to us.”
Life is Lovelier With Lace…
Through each and every ‘life bump’ as a Mom, I have found solace in taking time to ‘make lace.’ There was a short time, though – while diapering and folding tiny boy outfits fresh out of the dryer, cutting apples into pealed quarters, reading Donald Duck/Mickey Mouse/Goofy until I fall asleep, instead of them – then, I did not crochet lace.
But, you know? I didn’t need the solace of the ‘needle’ then. I was either completely content without lace crochet…or I was completely exhausted! Probably a little of each!
~ Debbie Ludvigson
The Ludvigson Lace Lady
LUDVIGSON LACE ♡ Aftcra